Reflections
by Arwen-Georgie-Skye
Summary: AU, definitely AU. Aragorn and Eowyn have married. While getting ready one morning, Aragorn finds the Evenstar pendant and reflects on his decisions. He remembers Arwen and what could have been. ArwenAragorn, and EowynAragorn
1. Aragorn

Summary: A/U, definitely A/U. Aragorn and Eowyn have married. While getting ready one morning, Aragorn finds the Evenstar pendant and reflects on his decisions. He remembers Arwen and what could have been. Arwen/Aragorn, and Eowyn/Aragorn.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or its characters. They are Tolkein's.

This is for Tori, my fellow LOTR girl! You rock!

Reflections

"Aragorn! Hurry!" Eowyn called to her husband. "Your meeting is soon!"

Aragorn hurried in his and Eowyn's chamber, getting himself ready to meet with his advisors over the Orc rebellions. He put his tunic on, and remembered that Eowyn wanted him to wear the necklace she'd given him. He hurried to the drawer and opened the box where he kept all the royal jewelry. Aragorn smiled, remembering when Eowyn gave him the necklace on their wedding day. Aragorn picked through all the different pieces that he wore only on special occasions. Aragorn went through the jewelry, faster, faster, knowing it was getting later and later. His fingers felt a familiar chain, and he pulled it out. 

It wasn't Eowyn's token of love.

It was another woman's token.

It was Arwen's token. 

It was the Evenstar pendant.

Memories flooded him, a thousand memories. Memories he'd tucked into the back of his mind for many years. 

He fingered the beautiful jewel and watched it dance in the sunlight. 

Suddenly he forgot all about the meeting, and Eowyn, and the world. Every other person in the world flew out of his mind. All he remembered was her. 

Arwen. 

His beloved Undomiel. Aragorn remembered everything about her. He remember why he'd fallen in love with her.

He remembered her laugh, and how it sounded more beautiful than any music. 

He remembered her clear eyes, and how they outshone every star. He remembered every detail of her exquisite face and her touch. He remembered her love, and how it kept him alive and gave him the courage to go on, even when everything else inside him failed. He remembered the vow they had made on Cerin Amroth. He remembered how she wanted to give up everything, just to be with him. 

He remembered the last time he saw her. It was the day he'd left with the Fellowship. The day she'd given him the Evenstar pendant. He remembered, foolishly, how he'd tried to refuse it. She insisted. Why? Because she believed so fiercely in their love. She believed that one day they would be together. She believed someday her beloved Estel would come home to her. She had no idea that day would never come. 

Aragorn reflected on his decisions, and hers. She had gone on the ship to Valinor with her people. 

She'd chosen her people. 

He learned sometime later that she married and bore many children. Then he pledged himself to Eowyn and married her.

Eowyn. His queen. His partner. His wife. She did not know about Arwen, nor would she ever. She trusted in Aragorn blindly. It was a blessing and a curse at the same time, he knew.

He had married Eowyn resigning himself to the fact that Arwen would never return. He knew he had to move on, and marrying Eowyn seemed like the best way to do this, and the best way to reunify the lands. He settled comfortably in his life with Eowyn, and became king. He was happy. He learned to love this courageous woman. It was just that Arwen was always there.

And yet she wasn't.

There was always a deep corner of his heart that still fiercely loved Arwen. He couldn't seem to ever move past it. 

Oh, don't misunderstand. Eowyn was his life now. His wife. And Aragorn owed it to her to stay faithful in every possible way. But. . .

Aragorn suddenly hated himself for not trying harder with Arwen. Sure, they were miles apart in their lives. Worlds apart. Aragorn had not wanted her to give up her immortality and her people for him. He had not wanted to be selfish. 

Still, he told himself, he could have found a way. If he had loved her enough. And he did.

Or so he thought.

He remembered now that it had been he who wanted Arwen to go to Valinor. He had gotten what he had wished for.

Aragorn stopped. Why was he questioning the past? 

He suddenly saw the situation more clearly now. If he and Arwen were meant to be together, they would have been. No one could have stopped them. They would have moved worlds to be together. 

But why didn't they? 

Many times Aragorn had asked himself this question, and never could he find the answer.

Aragorn shook his head. All these what-ifs made him crazy. He had to concentrate on Eowyn, and his people now. They were his reason for living. Not Arwen.

Aragorn picked through the box and found Eowyn's necklace. He lifted it and watched the sunlight make the jewel shine. Aragorn took the clasp and tied it firmly around himself. This was his vow: to let go of Arwen forever. It was the right thing to do. He had to let her go, and had to move on. 

Soon Arwen would fade into a memory, a fleeting glimpse. It would be Eowyn's turn. Eowyn would take the long-coveted spot in Aragorn's heart that Arwen held. The center of his heart.

Aragorn made a silent wish that one day, many years later, when he was long since dead, that Arwen would remember him. And smile. That was his silent wish to the Valar: that he live forever in her memory.

Slowly, Aragorn tucked the Evenstar pendant back into its place, firmly behind the other jewels. That was where he'd found it, and there it would remain. Forever. 

"Aragorn?" Eowyn called, walking into their chambers. "You're late." She noted the look on her husband's face. "Is something wrong?" Worry creased her fine features.

Aragorn jumped, and remembered the meeting. He was thrown abruptly back to his place in the present. He smiled, and knew a weight had been lifted off him. 

He was going to be all right. He'd finally accomplished his dearest wish: to let go of Arwen. Forever.

"Aragorn? What is it?" Eowyn asked again.

Aragorn looked at his beautiful wife, his love. The woman who he had never fully appreciated until this moment. He knew he didn't deserve her. Aragorn hoped Eowyn would take him as he was, with his faults. And then he realized she already had.

"Nothing. Let's go." Aragorn took his Eowyn's arm and left the chamber.

(A/N: I have an Eowyn POV for this too, if anyone's interested.) 


	2. Eowyn

Eowyn 

Summary: This takes place at the same time as Aragorn finds the Evenstar pendant. These are Eowyn's thoughts on the matter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or its characters. They are Tolkien's.

I walk into the chambers, ready to scold my husband for being late to his meetings. I open my mouth to speak, and nothing comes out. 

He is fingering a piece of jewelry as if he were touching the most precious of jewels. I squint, trying to see it better. Not that I don't know what it is. It is the Evenstar pendant. It's proof of her existence and her love for him. And proof of his love for her. 

He doesn't know I am watching.

I know what is going through his mind. I know him better than anyone. I know who he is thinking of.

Arwen.

Arwen, who made the choice to be with her people. She thought it was an unselfish choice but it was the most selfish choice of all. Aragorn and I suffer each day in our own ways because of that choice.

He still does not notice me. His back is against me, like his heart has been for many years. He seems to have forgotten everything. 

I watch my handsome husband. His strong, coarse hands hold the pendant. It glimmers in the light. He seems transfixed by it.

I did not know of Arwen until many years after Aragorn and I had married. I had been outside, enjoying the beautiful sunset, when I heard. I heard maids talking about Aragorn and Arwen. In detail they described how Arwen and Aragorn were in love and how everyone expected them to marry. I sat frozen as I listened to Arwen and Aragorn's history. It was then I understood those times when Aragorn seemed to block out everything around him. And how absentmindedly he hummed the tune of Luthien, the elf maiden who gave up her immortality for a man. 

I remembered the times when he appeared sorrowful and regretful. I would ask him repeatedly what was wrong, but always, always, he had answered, "Nothing, my love."

His love. I am not his love. Oh, he loves me, to be sure. I know he loves me. But that love does not even come close to his love for Arwen.

Arwen. I have never met the Evenstar, and I am sure if I did it would be far more nerve-racking than any battle I had fought in.

Slowly I back out of the room and into the hall. It doesn't matter if I stomped out of the room. He won't notice me.

Silently I make a wish, a plea to my husband:

Be careful with my heart.

You can break it. 

Sometimes I went insane because for the first time I did not know how to fight.

I do not know how to fight a memory. I do not know how to fight perfection. I know she was perfection to him. She is the one who got away. The one he can never have. The one who will be forever beautiful and young in his eyes.

I sigh as I think of all our times together. I don't think of the hurts inflicted on me on a few occasions. I think of the hurts of years. How he had loved another, yet pledged himself to me in every way that mattered except one. His heart. How he seemed so distant at night. So troubled. 

I remember when we had married, and how deliriously happy I was, and how happy I thought he was. Those were the best times. The happiest and the most fleeting. I was oblivious for a long time. I lived for him and our love. 

I should be content. I have what really matters: Aragorn. And yet I don't.

Tears slide slowly down my cheeks. I wish desperately to have those times again. I want to feel the happiness we once felt.

Except I know now I had been the only happy one.

Why am I still here? I can leave. I don't have to stand for this. I am the Shieldmaiden of Rohan. I am strong. I am powerful. I can and have won every battle thrown my way.

Except the battle that matters most. 

The battle for Aragorn's heart.

Arwen proved herself to be a worthy opponent. 

She has won the battle.

I know why I stayed.

For I love him still. No matter what he has done to me, I still love him.

I hate that I love him. I detest it. Because I know he can break my heart. I know he can destroy my soul. I hate being weak. But then again, I know now that he is my only weakness. As Arwen is his only weakness, he is mine.

He has been breaking my heart little by little, each day. 

And he doesn't even know it. He thinks I am Eowyn, his oblivious queen. He thinks I know of no other woman. He thinks I am his perfect little warrior queen. 

And that's how I will be seen by him. Forever. I will make sure of it. He cannot know what I know. 

It's time. Time for me to take my husband's heart. Fully. It is my turn to be the center of his heart. I deserve it. And Aragorn doesn't deserve the pain Arwen has given to him, simply by existing. 

Arwen may have won the battle, but I will win the war.

I step back into the room with a determined, suddenly fierce will to capture his heart. 

Aragorn turns to me, and it seems as if he sees me clearly. For the first time I think he sees me, and me alone. It is fleeting, but it is there. 

He is wearing the necklace I gave him on our wedding day. I smile as he leads me out of the room.

I know it would be a lengthy battle, and a difficult one.

But I know I will someday take my place as Lady Eowyn, queen of Gondor, and, most importantly, queen of Aragorn's heart–forever.


End file.
